Don't waste time or time will waste you (phyxius) wrote,
Don't waste time or time will waste you
phyxius

Some funnies courtesy of Mitch Hedberg....

It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky.

Someone handed me a picture and said, "This is a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is when you were younger. "...Here's a picture of me when I'm older." "Oh, shit, where'd you get that camera from?"

An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

Why are there no during pictures?

I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. There's a large out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside.

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
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