July 5th, 2002

hell's kitten

astrology jokes

Q: How many Aries does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it takes a hell of a lot of light bulbs.

Q: How many Taurus does it take to change a light bulb?
A: What, me move?

Q: How many Gemini does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 2

Q: How many Cancer does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but he has to bring his mother.

Q: How many Leos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: A dozen. One to change the bulb, and eleven to applaud.

Q: How many Virgos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One to clean out the socket, one to dust the bulb, one to install, and two engineers to check the work.

Q: How many Libras does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Libras can't decide if the bulb needs to be changed.

Q: How many Scorpios does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They LIKE the dark.

Q: How many Sagittarians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One to install the bulb, and a Virgo to pick up the pieces.

Q: How many Capricorns does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The light's fine as it is.

Q: How many Aquarians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Have you asked the bulb if it WANTS to be changed?

Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: What light bulb?
hell's kitten

mash

You will live in Shack.
You will drive a transparent school bus.
You will marry the guy with the shoes and have 0 kids.
You will be a photographer in Paris.

Play MASH

:-) i like the way this turned out. the guy with the shoes is coming with me to paris!!
  • Current Music
    Pull My Strings - Dead Kennedys
hell's kitten

new channels...oh goody...

We're getting three new channels here in socorro...the WB (good...i dont watch any of those shows, but i might), telemundo (another spanish channel) and...get this...the golf channel. i didnt even know such a thing existed. come on...we still dont have FX, vh1, mtv2, or countless better ones than the golf channel.
  • Current Music
    the way - goddamit...i cant remember who does this song...
hell's kitten

damn it! not again!!!

Oh, do you know how I found about about the channels thing? I found a damn scorpion on my kitchen floor. I was too paranoid to use a regular piece of paper cuz my logic was that the stinger can go through the paper (yeah, i know...shut up). So anyway, after trapping it under a tupperware container, I grabbed the first newspaper I found, and the article on the front page was about the channels. God damn it...the scorpion scared the hell out of me. It was on my kitchen floor. In the middle of the damn floor. less than a foot away from where I had stepped. what if i had stepped on it?!? so after trapping it, i sat on the floor next to it, staring at it, thinking about that very thing and my cat came and rubbed up against me and scared the shit out of me...
  • Current Music
    powerman 5000 - when worlds collide
hell's kitten

Answer me these.

1. You are locked in a room with your best friend with a gun in the center. To escape, you must take the gun and kill yourself. Do you take the gun?

2. Same situation but with a total stranger. Do you take the gun?

3. You are locked in a room with your best friend with a gun in the center. To escape, you must kill them. Do you do it?

4. Same situation but with a total stranger. Do you do it?

5. You have one wish that you must make for yourself and yourself alone, and it must be possible. What is it?

6. Same deal, but this wish must be impossible (I want to fly.) What is it?

7. A wish for someone else or for the entire world that must be possible. What is it?

8. Same deal but with an impossible wish. What is it?

9. You are driving down a back road when a kid on a bike pulls out from a driveway in front of you. You hit him. There are no witnesses and the car seems undamaged. You can't tell what kind of shape the kid is in without going over to investigate. Describe your course of actions from the moment after the impact.
  • Current Music
    3,720 To 1 - The Benjamins
hell's kitten

(no subject)

I love this song when I'm in the mood for it. If not, it's very annoying. Right now I'm loving it. I think all Finch's songs are that way. Hmm.
  • Current Music
    What it is to burn - Finch
hell's kitten

(no subject)

LiLsUnShInE821: i'm off to bed. night
O o phyxius o O: no!
LiLsUnShInE821: yes
O o phyxius o O: no
O o phyxius o O: i wont let you
LiLsUnShInE821: i must get up in 6 1/2 hours
LiLsUnShInE821: oh really. what are you going to do abou tit
O o phyxius o O: one question
LiLsUnShInE821: *about it
LiLsUnShInE821: come out here and keep me up?
LiLsUnShInE821: yes?

20 minutes later...

LiLsUnShInE821: ok i REALLY need to go to bed. lol
LiLsUnShInE821: night
O o phyxius o O: lol
O o phyxius o O: i kept you up, didnt i
O o phyxius o O: *evil grin*
LiLsUnShInE821: yes
O o phyxius o O: 20 minutes
LiLsUnShInE821: bitch. lol


mwahahaha....
  • Current Music
    Konstantine - Something Corporate
hell's kitten

palindromes

Ellie sparked my curiosity last night and I went palindrome-hunting. Here's some of my favs:

A dog! A panic in a pagoda!

A man, a plan, a cat, a ham, a yak, a yam, a hat, a canal--Panama!

Dammit, I'm mad!

Do geese see god?

Go hang a salami. I'm a lasagna hog.

No, Mel Gobson is a casino's big lemon.

Sit on a potato pan, Otis.

Dennis, Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen sinned.
  • Current Music
    Makeup - Sugarcult
hell's kitten

damn dictionary

I was bored and decided to look up "pain" in the dictionary: "physical suffering typically from injury or illness"....so I looked up "suffering": "to undergo or feel pain"....goddammit...i hate it when they do that.
  • Current Music
    incubus - i wish you were here (radio)