I'm alone. And it fucking sucks. All I want is someone I can hug every once in while. I cant even remember the last time someone hugged me. I might even have to go back to june when I saw mest and hugged matt (which hardly even counts). Goddamn it sucks being alone. I'm 16 and never been kissed. I've never even had a boyfriend. I'm a freak.
"you're feeling sad, you're feeling lonely, and no one seems to care..."
Damn it. I just won tickets to the sick of it all show tomorrow that I cant go to. Damn it. It's one I want to go to, but cant. I'm gonna go to abq on wed and hope I can get a cd or something instead. DAMN IT
I just saw a part of making the video with nick carter. the song was pretty good. i was impressed. kinda reminded me of savage garden. about nick himself, i was impressed as well. yes, i know, he didnt write all the songs or play the instruments, but the important part is that he didnt pretend to. yes, he does play in the video, but he said something like "i'm not the guitarist. theres 2 others that play for me." So, yeah, there's one pop singer that I don't mind.
My mom's a bitch. The edge is holding a free mudhoney cd for me. My mom wont take me there, and it'd cost me $10 worth of gas to go get it myself. No, wait, I lied. She'll take me, but not until the 28th, since we're going up there to see my bro for his birthday. And the edge wont answer their fucking phones so I can ask if they'll hold it that long.
And QTA songs keep coming on my freeamp and are making me even more depressed than I already am.
But no one gives a fucking rats ass. So dont fucking pretend to
I need to talk to my brother. He knows how I feel. he's been through this. he even moved out when he was my age. But I wouldnt know what to say...He even offered to let me spend a week or so in abq in his apartment with him over the summer, but my mom wouldnt fucking let me. he knows how I feel. i want to just skip school for a week and be with him. i cant think of any other way to make this better.
On the bright side (ha), I know what they mean when they say money cant buy happiness. I have $100 in my pocket right now that I can spend on whatever the hell I want, but I'm still depressed as fuck.
I'd bet most of the people who have me listed as a friend on here dont even read my entries, so I dont even feel bad about taking up space on their friends page.
I'm going to go crawl in a hole and die now...good night.