April 6th, 2004

hell's kitten

(no subject)

ARGH! I dont know how this is going to last. This cant last this way. Anytime me, whitney and a guy are hanging out, I know the guy is wishing I would leave. I'm not just being stupid, either. I know for sure it's like that with at least 4 people and that's just counting who we hang out with now. I'm invisible if I'm with her. No one notices me because they're too busy gawking at her. There is no guy that would want to hang out with me if Whitney didnt come too. There's no one that would choose me over her. If I want to be social, I have to depend on her. I cant tell her this because she'll think I'm lying out of jealousy, but I'M NOT goddammit. It pisses me off, but I cant exactly be mad at her because she cant help how every male she meets wants to fuck her. I hate being mad when there's no one to be mad at. And I can't vent to anyone because they'll think I'm wanting pity or something. That's why I'm venting here. I need a Wilson.

Oh yeah. I'm a redhead now.
  • Current Music
    home improvement
hell's kitten

(no subject)

Getting a message saying "I'm trying to find the nicest way to tell you I dont like you" doesnt exactly help my mood right now. I cant keep hanging out with her. If I do, it'll be more of the same, every guy we meet wont even notice me, I'll have to hear her pissed off about the fact that too many guys are hitting on her (oh boohoo), I'll continue to help out with her "too many guys want me and I cant choose because i like the attention" problems. But I cant stop hanging out with her because she's my best and only friend. We do everything together and tell each other everything.

College is coming. I'll be moving away. Far away. I suppose I can deal until then.
hell's kitten

(no subject)

I'm happy. I was just venting earlier. It's all true, but I dont care. The issue that sparked all of it has been resolved and it's really funny now.