Don't waste time or time will waste you (phyxius) wrote,
Don't waste time or time will waste you
phyxius

  • Music:
This song was just on the radio. Very very odd.

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover and my penis was missing again. This happens all the time: it's detachable. This comes in handy a lot of the time: I can leave it home when I think it's going to get me in trouble, or I can rent it out when I don't need it. But now and then I go to a party, get drunk, and the next morning I can't for the life of me remember what I did with it.

First I looked around my apartment and I couldn't find it so I called up the place where the party was. They hadn't seen it either. I asked them to check the medicine cabinet (because for some reason I leave it there sometimes) but not this time. So I told them if it pops up to let me know. I called some other people from the party but they were no help either.

I was starting to get desperate. I really don't like being without my penis for too long. It makes me feel like less of a man, and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.

After a few hours of searching the house and calling everyone I could think of, I was starting to get very depressed. So I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast. Then as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's place where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street, I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven. Some guy was selling it. He wanted 22 bucks, but I talked him down to 17. I took it home, washed it off, and put it back on.

I was happy again. Complete. People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached, but, I don't know. Even though it's sometimes a pain in the ass, I like having a detachable penis.
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