All signs pointed towards two_pi_r's suggestion of the lack of software. However, I'd "restored" it a million times, which is supposed to restore it to factory settings, and the "update" option was unclickable meaning my ipod supposedly has the latest software on it already. So I downloaded the very very latest version of the updater from apple's website, installed it, and used it, and it fixed it. But Jesus fucking goddamn shitkicking christ. Why the hell did it randomly decide to delete all the software to begin with?
In other news, if any of you have the opportunity to see Brick, I highly recommend it. It's playing in select theatres (which includes those of you in the Bay Area, but unfortunately, not much else) starting this Friday. Imagine the dialogue style of a 1930s detective movie, with a Godfather-ish plot, but set in a high school. It sounds like it could be ridiculous, which it is to some degree, but in a good way. They pull it off really well.
I'm increasingly ecstatic about the 30 Seconds To Mars show next week. It's going to kick so much ass.