Don't waste time or time will waste you (phyxius) wrote,
Don't waste time or time will waste you
phyxius

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retainers

Hehe...this is from here.

Retainers are frickin disgusting. I've had this thing in my mouth for only 3 days now and it already stinks like something dying. And it's plastic! Plastic can't die! We've all seen the commercials, plastic saves lives, quite the opposite to dying. So why does it smell so? It's not like my breath is bad either, I've even started checking. I'll go up to a friend and go "Hey man, does my breath stink?" And then blow in their face. They always say, "Nah, not at all," except for that time I did it right after eating a tuna fish and Doritos sandwich. Mmm...I love Mexican. I have to wash this son of a bitch in Efferdent more often than I trim my ass hairs, which is extremely often, by the way.

And why the hell do you even have to wear a retainer? I wore an iron grill across my teeth for 3 years, just so that I could wear a smell plastic one for even longer?! They didn't give me a timeline on this shit yet, but I overheard them talking to a guy I know about it. They said that when you first get it, you have to wear it all the time for about 6 months to a year. After that you only have to wear it at night...get this...for the REST OF YOUR LIIIIIIIIIFFFEEEEEE. I thought the boldness + italicness would add dramatics to that otherwise cliche line. Retainers are stupid.




For me, it was four years...
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