Don't waste time or time will waste you (phyxius) wrote,
Don't waste time or time will waste you
phyxius

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skittles

This is pretty funny...probably written at 3am after too much caffeine...

Recently I discovered that Skittles have replaced their Lime flavored skittles with green apple skittles! Green apple, which used to be considered an unorthodox candy flavor, but have gotten a lot more popular after those lolli pops that had the mealworms inside of them. You know the ones, they were rectangular shaped, and came in either green apple or tequila. Personally, the tequila was really tasty, made me feel great too! And frankly, these new green apple skittles are pretty tasty, especially compared to those old lime ones.
Now don't get me wrong, before the green apple ones came out, my favorite skittles were the lime ones. But there's just something about the whole newess and the tangyness of these green apple skittles that makes me say "Screw the lime, gimme more green apple!" Normally I hate green apple, well, the actual green apples. Can't stand em, too sour for me. But when the green apple flavor is transformed into candy, all of a sudden it tastes a lot better. And in these skittles it tastes BETTER.

Besides, it was really time for a change anyway. The lime ones have been around since skittles were invented, whenever that was. Way before America was invented I'd bet though, so we're looking at a few dozen years, around there. Although these green apple skittles are fresh and delicious, they also present us a real problem. Now we have the lemon skittles flying solo, and this is simply not allowed in most civilized cultures. It is a very rare occassion where you see a lemon without a lime for its partner. I'm not sure why, I think it has to do with the sourness of the lemon and the sweetness of the lime, combining to make a citrus explosion that few can resist. Sprite just wouldn't be sprite without the lime. And neither would be all those other lemon lime combination things that I can't seem to remember right now. So what do we do with the lemon skittles who no longer have the lime? We have a skittle imbalance, and this is a dangerous thing for candy eaters everywhere!

My idea is to just go and replace the lemon ones too. They're just as tired as the lime ones, so you might as well shove them on their way to retirement. And of course, you can't have lemon without lime, and there's no way I'm letting them bring the lime back now that green apple's in the house. So, replace the lemon with either pineapple or pina colada. Or tequila. Either would be an excellent choice. Are you guys at Skittles writing this down? Or are you too busy eating green apple skittles...oh I bet you are, I know am!

Come to think of it, get rid of the purple ones. I never really cared for the purple ones. Put in eggplant flavor instead. No...that's a bad idea, I'm sorry. I'm just not thinking clearly. It must be the tequila.

Things are not going the way I would have hoped down at Skittle land, unfortunately. No, there will probably never be tequila flavored skittles, and I fear that the green skittles are coming to an end. They barely got a chance! You see...Skittles has a poll on their green appleized web site about whether to keep the green apple or to bring back the lime. And would you believe it, LIME'S WINNING! Don't they realize that LIME'S OLD! Come on! Don't you people wanna be hip and trendy! Green apple's in, lime's out!

I urge you to go to the Skittles website which can conveniently be found at www.skittles.com and if you are feeling the green apple like I am, vote for it! Green apple needs you! Make sure that old guy, lime stays away. Nobody likes an old guy ruining a party full of sexy young people. And you want to be sexy don't you?! Of course you do! Vote for green apple, because there won't be recounts if he loses.
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